Wednesday, November 27, 2013


Undefined. Something, an expression, or maybe a word, an action,or a feeling that cannot be described about it. It is undefined. Something that we ourselves may understand about it, but we have no idea how to tell it to someone else. Let's have an example, when we eat a cake, we would say it tastes sweet or creamy or a guilty pleasure. How about when someone who never tastes a mango, and asks us how does it taste like? If we say it tastes sweet, well.... Other fruits are too. If we say it is sweet and tangy, they can't just simply imagine mangoes taste like yogurts. Simply being said, it is undefined unless you taste it yourself.

What I am about to talk here right now is about a feeling.. I guess some of you might already guess it, I am going to talk about love. Love. We often see the word, it could be the most powerful word. Why? Everyone uses it. When I say everyone... it is everyone. All around the globe. Doesn't matter if you are a Malay, or maybe an African, a Spanish, the word "I love you" is not something new. We use "I love you" instead of  "Saya cinta awak". At least I do. What does actually love mean?

Love could be a feeling that you feel about your mother, family, friends, teachers, crushes, God and religion. Or maybe something else. Love could be for anything. Love is something you don't ask for it. It just comes, without you knowing it is living in your soul.... Love.

Here is my confession;

I used to fall very hard for this special someone. Very hard. The feeling was too strong. It was way more than love. It is cinta. Way down deeper. Cinta. Yes, saya jatuh cinta. Cinta yang sangat mendalam. It is too deep down inside that you think you moved on, and all of a sudden you realised you haven't. Contohnya, mungkin terdengar lagu Ruang Rindu nyanyian Letto. At times when I listen to this song, I don't feel anything, but I do think of that certain someone. I did think, but I didn't feel anything. But at times, whilst driving as an example, I suddenly did. It was so sudden, so out of the blue........ How does it feel... It hurts. You feel like you want to drive to somewhere, or just keep on driving, not knowing where to stop, or at least until this pain goes away. You feel like crying, but your throat stops you from doing so. Something is stuck and breath feels heavy. You make your ugliest face expression and still you can't cry. That is what it feels like.


 The feeling is trapped and wrapped. You tried everything. Everything. Thinking of what he did to you, how he caused you so much pain and tears, how he treated you, deleted him in your contacts. All of these, it doesn't work. But you tried. 

All of this is just going to be in my draft, not publishing. After all, I love someone else's boyfriend.

Love is a wonderful feeling. Love can hurt you. Love can make you laugh too. Love sucks sometimes, it is like a cupid was drunk and he shoots anyone he wants us to fall for. Even the impossible ones, the sinful ones, whatever ones, we fall in love. We are humans, we can't change that. Isn't it wonderful to know how awesome love can change a person. In fact, love can change the world. Imagine if everyone in this world loves each other, it will be peace and harmony at every part of the globe. Love is powerful. Love conquers all.

Love conquers all...... Yes, yes it does. Let's see how someone can change so much when they are in love. A girl can change her interest type, you see. I have a lesbian friend, who broke up and suddenly now she's straight. How powerful is that? Love does conquer all. It conquers everything. Even our faith, our beliefs in something. One of Rasulullah s.a.w's friend, Umar alKhattab who was once used to threat and was fighting against Islam, is now in our history for promoting peace and spreading Islam for the entire world. Why? Because he fell in love. With Allah SWT, with Muhammad s.a.w, with this peaceful religion. Love. Love conquers all.

Let's sit back and think of someone with our types. Handsome, charming smile, tall, maybe blue eyes or Korean-looking guys, white, friendly, and someone who will not change himself even when he is with his friends. Woops. Yes, that is my type of guy. Now ask your mother, who did she dream about to be his husband wayyyyy before she know your dad? She would say something, and mostly, it might not describe your dad at all! But your mother married to your dad, so what happens? Did she fail to get someone of her type? ........... It's because of love. That feeling. That feeling defeats her types, her dream guy. Yet, that feeling changes her dream guy. You get what I'm saying? This is love.

Love is very powerful.


nqddn. said...

aipa tulih pasai chenta wiwitt.

Farrah Wahida said...

Undefined feelings when reading this.heheh.Ah-may-zingg entry!The way you define love eventho it's undefined!