Saturday, July 05, 2014

On the part of the downside

I've always had interesting introductions that I want to write in every essay or blog post. Sometimes words twinkle in my mind but as for this time, I don't know what to write. Honestly, I don't think I know what should I do now.. Keeping up with the dreams I've always had since long I could remember, to make them come true is a responsibility for me... I don't mind struggling, as long as I could get the dreams.

As what happened and what I faced today, the only word that suits me well might be.... disappointment? After knowing my results, I didn't know what to feel.. Mad? Grateful? Or should I cry? Should I feel all my efforts before are wasted? What should I do? What should I feel? But truth to be told.... I have prepared myself with this situation. I was not surprised to see the results, because I told myself that this might happen. However, what I didn't think back then was what should I do after I get such results.

Right now...... I kinda feel relieved. I am glad. I feel grateful. Not because my results are excellent, but I am thankful that I can feel this. I am thankful that I can experience this. I am thankful to know that this is the time that He is paying attention on me. :)

Reminiscing back about the past, I wasn't tested on hard deals as much as what my friends had faced. Maybe because I wasn't close enough to Him that He knows that I would break down, torn apart and might do something stupid if He tests me...

But this time,

I am ready.